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Friday, July 10th, 2009
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1:58 am - from my heart and from my hands
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happy mad scientist day! today is Nikola Tesla's 153rd birthday.
Cal 2 final today... i can make a B if, and only if, i make a perfect score. anything between 99 and 64 will give me a C. i think i'm probably retaking it in the fall... mostly because i feel like i need to know this stuff better than i do. that, and i don't need any more Cs floating around. of course, setting myself back in the bit of my degree that was already going to take the longest to finish is rather problematic... i hope i can make this work.
no other news really... i haven't done anything but this class for 5 weeks solid. thing is, i don't know if there is anything else useful to my degree that i can take in summer 2 if i drop the multivariable calculus... but i'm just not ready for it. and if i learned anything from japanese this spring, its that taking a class i know i'm not ready for is a waste of time and money.
i could use the break... but i really need to be getting classes out of the way... ugh. i'm going to be in school til i'm 40.
current mood: e to the pi i
current music: oingo boingo
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| Monday, June 15th, 2009
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3:12 pm - give it to me baby... oi vey oi vey...
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OK, if you believe that Lamarckian Evolution holds water, stop reading now.
for those of you left... i have a holy fucking jesus on a candy-cane dildo moment to relate. an individual that i had previously appraised as having more than two brain-cells to rub together has admitted to taking modern claims of lamarckian evolution seriously. if you do not understand the gravity of this intellectual fox pas, let me explain.... on second thought, no, explaining will take too long, let me some up... this is brain damage class thinking in my book. sweet evil jesus but i cannot think of anything more inane than a graduate student that thinks that this idea holds water... seriously... i think i threw up a little when he uttered the words. if anything says it about the prospects for humanity, this kind of thing is what really makes me think we're doomed.
current mood: W to the T to the fuckin F
current music: dare to be stupid - weird al
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| Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
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1:12 pm - a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while i was sleeping
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ok, so i know what i am doing on the ninth of september
http://www.hulu.com/watch/51145/movie-trailers-9
...in other news, Cal 2 is going to kick my ass. 20 probs last night took me 7 hours... 40 probs tonight... it seems i am expected to do calculus 96 hours at a time, only stopping to sleep or walk to and from campus. if you try to talk to me this summer, do not be surprised if i can only respond by taking the antiderivative of your questions or try to derive your name by multiplying your greeting by e...
current mood: log based argh
current music: the cantina song from star wars
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| Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
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3:30 pm - every moment was sacred and mystic, we were hoping the night was eternal
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done with neuropsychopharmacology final... last final...
ugh... i think i'll sleep now.
oh yeah... Scott Atran is a moron! May he be ripped to shreds by one of the irrational, science hating nit wits he doesn't seem to believe in...
current mood: worn to the bones
current music: anna lesko - anycka maya
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| Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
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5:34 pm - and somewhere in the darkness, the gambler, he broke even...
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and in his final words, i found an ace that i could keep.
i'm pretty sure that i'm dropping japanese. it really has me bummed, but i need to do well in the other classes more than i need to get the japanese minor... and the class is just taking too much time, energy and emotional toll.
in other news, i just heard the above song for the first time in forever, and i didn't remember that last verse... it really makes the song. i mean, i can't even sing along to that bit without getting choked up, which is kinda wacky because that song was all over my childhood and it never hit me like that before.
of course, i've been really stressed out lately, which might have something to do with it.
current mood: overwhelmed
current music: real life - send me an angel
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| Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
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4:15 am - the monkey road a blade on the overhead fan
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Wow... even for me this bit o dream is strange... This is just an excerpt from last night.
:: i am a warrior in some kind of future/modern fantasy world. i have been sent to seek wisdom from a "shaman" who lives in a garage at one of those rolling door storage lots. when i get there, his unit says use other door, and there is a normal door next to the big rolling one. as i open the door i am overwhelmed by a vision, and instead of the shaman's home i see...
the inside of an ancient tee-pee of animal skins, with a small fire crackling in the middle of the dirt floor. sitting in front of the fire is an old and wizened jaguar, its jowls stretched into a permanent emotionless glare, its brilliant spots draped loosely over a skinny body of stiff bones and whipcord muscles. it sits on its hind quarters, with forelimbs rigid in front of it, and clutched in the toes of the hind leg closest to me is a huge, half smoked cigar. as it stares me in the eye, it reaches up and takes a long drag from the cigar, pulling the smoke all the way in to its lungs. it then lowered its head, and with great concentration, blew the smoke onto its penis, where the smoke gathered and swirled. it repeated this several times, staring at me as it inhaled, and then blowing the smoke into its crotch. with one last, very long drag the jaguar somehow ignited the tip of its huge animal phallus turning it into a torch which shot a jet of flame six or more feet straight across the tee-pee.
the next thing i knew i was sharing tea in a morocan garden with the shaman i was supposed to meet.
current mood: waking up
current music: xylophones in my head
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| Monday, January 19th, 2009
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8:59 am - hey hey hey mama, lookit lil sister, out in the backyard
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today I turn 100,000 years old.
current mood: binary
current music: billy idol - white wedding
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| Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
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8:23 am - I’ve a spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin
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so, for the merry holiday i was given the gift that keep on giving, the glorious ability to annoy my neighbors with an instrument which i have no idea how to play. i am keen on changing this to the ability to annoy my neighbors with an instrument they wish i couldn't play as soon as possible, and with this in mind i come to LJ.
So, any of you kindly folks know where i can find music (especially sea chanties, sailor songs and pub music) that are arranged for a 20 button anglo concertina?
current mood: evil
current music: horrible screaching racket
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| Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
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12:37 pm - the bottle is empty, the sleigh has a flat
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so, as an early christmas present our culture of greed has once again come through. My COBRA ran out this month and the company that was carrying it couldn't get rid of me fast enough. why you may ask? because of preexisting conditions and psychological medications. who cares if my problems aren't my fault? who cares if these medications make it possible for me to be a productive member of society. it costs too much.
i still don't understand why the oil and coal companies aren't required to subsidize respiratory costs, as their businesses are the likely cause of my asthma. not a big surprise i guess, so influential are they that they can threaten life on earth, cause one environmental catastrophe after another and still get the government to pay for many of their most profitable ventures while they roll in cash.
ugh... back to paying through the nose for the paper thin protection of a risk pool. i hope Obamah's plan comes through quick.
current mood: vengeful
current music: Tom Waits - Underground
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| Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008
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3:40 pm - i like it here with my childhood friends, here they come, those feelings again
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so, finals are coming... i could be more prepared. mostly i just want it over, as next semester may very well see me studying *duh duh duuuuuh* what i went back to school for. strange and spooky, isn't it.
dream
::i am a prisoner. we are kept in large rooms, co-ed, and sometimes there are parties where the rich mingle with the criminals. i hatch a plan with a tall blond woman, a commando type guy and a short chubby fellow named stucky. during one of the parties, we will dress as servants and leave with the guests. at some point the commando is taken out and the plan is changed. stucky tries to hack one of the computers and the woman and i try to keep people away from the servants we have already knocked out.
current mood: bleh
current music: talking heads - once in a lifetime
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| Sunday, November 16th, 2008
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6:11 pm - Mahna Mahna
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Dream (short version)
A man escapes from prison, because he is a half vampire (who seem to have shortened lives) and wants to see his lover (or sister, maybe both) before she dies (also a half vampire) they go cross country and somehow she doesn't die but becomes a full vampire at the last minute.
Two cyborg special agent police chase them, thinking they are cyborgs, much suburban destruction happens.
meanwhile the four kids that are friends with the cops are playing an improv concert at a park with instruments that look like "rock band" controllers.
then i had a fling with a girl who was a girl some days and a shemale on others and she never knew which way it would be from day to day. the whole thing took place while the dancing company she was in was staying at a combo hotel/shopping mall.
there was something about talking mice trying to raid a candy store in said mall to find a magic toy or some such.
then i had to drive home, the girl's car looked like the inside was designed to look like a star trek bridge. i drive home in this bizar open air monstrosity. then i get there, the girl and a few of her friends are there, and one of the guys off the show supernatural is talking to them. there is something about a mummy being sewn into the couch and a robotic teapot....
i don't know... i was so wiped out i slept through most of the day...
current mood: worn out
current music: mahna mahna - cake
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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10:29 pm - when men on the chess board, get up and tell you where to go
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well, they seem pretty sure, so it looks like the dems have the oval office, the house and the senate. i have to admit, though, i'm ambivalent. i am glad for the defeat of the GOP, not for anyone's victory. while it seems that the dems could do several things i would support, still i am cautious. they will almost certainly not do the things that are most important, because those are the things that keep the game the way it is... the problems most in need of solving are the profound flaws at the heart of how politics in this country operate.
in 2012, we will still have only two parties with a chance. in 2012, money will still hold more sway over who's voice is heard than reason, diversity or actual representation. i will almost certainly return to my old third party exclusivity from here on out... the dems had me in desperation to eject bush and his party, but now they've won, and i turn on them a very skeptical eye.
i honestly doubt that i will see, in my lifetime, an american government i could be proud of. and i see nothing to change that in this cycle. all it has achieved is a broad rejection of a government that i was utterly ashamed of... but it seems likely to only be replaced with one that inspires cautious acceptance. not a great reason for joy.
McCain's concession speech was honorable and gracious, something to respect. Obama's acceptance speech was ok... it sounded like an oscar speech some of the time, and a run of the mill pep rally the rest.
current mood: busy
current music: NPR's election coverage
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| Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
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5:48 am - little pink houses for you and me
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more teh dreaming and such
:short episodic bits of a dream about living in a crumbling urban area. i follow a girl that turns hair salon supplies into musical instruments and plays them. tom waits teaches me a song about red bricks, how they are everywhere and how they know all the stories from success to rags...
:i'm interviewing people in the texas rural counties, getting stories. one is about an old man with a sharpie, who asks anyone that comes by if they are alice, and if they ask about the sharpie he writes the name alice on them and says "oh there you are". also, one about a shanty town in the middle of nowhere, but i couldn't find it.
:i'm at a convention for people who throw conventions. we are in a suite, getting ready to host a party there, when someone notices that the 3story glass office building across the street has a bunch of jet black armored vehicles pulling up. everyone that steps out of the vehicles is dressed in all black jumpsuits with body armor, and are carrying urban assault weapons. the shooting starts and we have to take cover behind the marble panels on the walls. later we meet one of the guys that was in the assault. also, we help trey by building autonomous legs out of bits of driftwood, because he lost his legs at the airport. but we spend a lot of time gathering the pieces because they keep running away.
current mood: tired
current music: some hiphop built on an 80s track
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| Monday, October 13th, 2008
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5:10 am - blue, i'm blue ladah dee dah
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ok, why is it that the two girlfriends that hurt me most are the ones that have to have taken up residence in my subconscious!? (maybe because they were the ones you liked most?) shut up id, you're not helping! also strange, i have picked up a fictional, reoccurring girlfriend in my dreams lately. she's really short (comes up to my chin), has really thick hair (kinda like a head of really soft fishing wire) that she wore long and blond in the first dream she was in, and has a very distinctive face. her name is usually either melissa or kacey.
dream
::i am on the same campus as gu. for some reason she has become blind and started playing the pipe organ. i have been drafted to escort her around town. we are walking around, stopping to talk to people, doing little errands at various buildings on campus. i introduce her to melissa, who is studying journalism here, and gu starts being very charming and so on, almost like she's hitting on her. finally i take her to the last stop. we go around a building and there is a cracked, concrete staircase leading down into a small, lowered courtyard, with one door into the building's basement. i have to pick her up and carry her or her white gown will get ruined by the muddy water, but she complains about it anyway.
when we get inside i leave her in the living room and she finds a seat. i then go around a corner to a kitchenette and tell a heavy set, older woman that her "cousin" is here to see her. then i hear something from the living room that reminds me that gu is her niece. the woman trundles off and i sit down next to the old irish man at the counter. he must be married to the old woman, but i can't be sure. we kavetch about women for a while and something leads me back to the living room. gu has taken a seat next to another young woman on a bean bag chair and they alternately whisper and giggle. on one of the two couches are two men, one a very tall, broad shouldered man with a voice like an ent and long black hair, the other is a nondescript placeholder. i talk with the entish one about the rock band that is being documentaried on tv, how they used to be authentic, but now they're a bunch of spoiled, over payed layabouts that don't have a reason to rebel anymore.
on the other couch sits trey, chinless and tall, wearing some long, shapeless orange garment with a flannel shirt over it. (more stuff, this is getting too long) he later comes through the room without the flannel and i realize what he's wearing. "tre, is that a nighty?" the girls giggle. he stammers a no, clutches it like an embarrassed victorian woman and storms out. then pokes his head back around and says "it's a moomoo!". the girls giggle again, and when he leaves the one that lives here whispers "its a nighty. its from victoria secret." and more giggling. I lay down on one of the couches to go to sleep... which is when i woke up.
current mood: meh
current music: still alive - youtube ukelele girl
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| Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
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5:14 am - For millions of years, man lived just like the animals
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Holy shit people. If I didn't know better, I'd say youtube just took the advice of xkcd
http://xkcd.com/481/
It's pretty poor quality, but still quite interesting.
current mood: beniftied
current music: vocaloids - california dreaming
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| Monday, September 29th, 2008
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3:58 pm - Dear friends, a question...
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Do any of you know of a good place to look for a mathematician or information scientist that has written a critique of Dr John Lennox's ideas on information theory that supports ID?
*update*
John Lennox is a smart-assed jerk. I seriously want to punch him in his cocky little face. I've been listening to a debate between Dawkins and Lennox and I find this man infuriating and obnoxious.
...also, remind me never to agree to a debate where I present first and get no rebuttal... that is how this jerk is getting away with it.
...seriously, punch him in the face.
current mood: determined
current music: dear god - Sarah McLachlan
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| Sunday, September 28th, 2008
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6:18 pm - creeping up the back stairs, slinking down dark halls
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Dream:
I was creeping around the grand halls near the royal docks, hiding amongst the pillars as the ships return with the spoils of war. Someone is talking, "I heard they cut the head off of their statue of god and filled it with the blood of the royal family."
I'm not supposed to be here. I feel like an AWOL slave or a troubled member of the court. Some serving girls see me as they sit at a table, polishing silver and choosing which will be used to set the banquet table. I look away. I had a slip of paper, with names and descriptions written on it. But when I look at it again, someone has erased the names. In place of their names is the word lost.
I am perhaps another person, perhaps the same. I am the favored companion of the young grandson of the emperor. We sit at a performance to celebrate the beginning of something like the olympics. The boy is frightened and suspicious of every flaming arrow and bright explosion. The performers ask for a volunteer, and it is obvious they want one of the nobles. The young princeling looks up at me, he is nervous, it is in his nature to be quiet, shy and cautious. By the time he steps forward, they have chosen someone else, and he returns dejected and mutters something about his family being the same way. I tell him not to worry. One day he will find his strength, and the men who write histories will wonder how no one saw it before. I don't know if I believe it, but I see it in a vision of certain truth.
current mood: strange
current music: eurythmics - here comes the rain again
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| Friday, September 19th, 2008
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6:39 am - spreadin rhythm around
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ok, i generally don't do memes, but i'm feeling saucy.
Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair - just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with the picture.
current mood: yar
current music: Deathm0le - Clotting Agent
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| Saturday, September 13th, 2008
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7:13 pm - not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
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so, i was just noticing something about the whiskers in my beard. over the length of one hair it will often have several variations in thickness... so i started wondering, could i go back and connect the general time when a hair was producing thin growth to anything in particular? like stress or certain kinds of dietary disruptions or choices...
current mood: prone to navelgazing
current music: Sade - Flow
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| Sunday, September 7th, 2008
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8:59 am - a half-dozen face eating weasles
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so, sometime thursday my back started to get sore... by friday morning there was a distinct knot of twitchy, stiff pain, but oh my god... all day saturday, and into this morning! i swear it feels like part of my back is arbitrarily trying to find a way to crumple my spine and run away to the circus or something... i mean it really fucking hurts like evil death. there are few consistent motions or positions that make it worse and every now and then it will go away (of course, no position lying down could be comfortable)... even as i type there is this horrible ball of pain just to the left of my spine and a few inches below my shoulderblade whenever i breathe...
why can't i just have a few weeks of nothing going wrong so i could fucking concentrate of classes goddamnit!?
current mood: omg the pain
current music: some aweful balad from the 80s
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